I’ve discovered I’m hardwired for quiet stillness, calm, and order. I long for my world to be that way and when I get pockets of it I am delighted. Usually it’s in the morning at prayer time when my soul is resting easy and my mind has not yet filled with the day’s obligations. The quiet winter sky or a beautiful spring morning with birds singing and just enough breeze that you can hear the leaves barely sway – that’s the time for me.
But I’m also wired for relationship and community, and that desire to connect with others hangs in constant tension with my desire for order and calm and peace. Connecting with other humans doesn’t usually bring those things – it brings laughter or love or birthday hats or shower gifts or memorial services or picnics or worship or breakfast or working together on a mission project or sitting on the porch with a sister. All important things, just not quiet and orderly.
The trick for me is to find the balance. I can only experience those other things fully if first the craving of my soul to “be still” is satisfied. Only the Designer of that soul can do that. Faithfully He is there each morning, ready to get my spiritual house in order and paving the way for the messy, wonderful connections of my life.
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