Just like that they were gone. Moments before we were in the house at the foot of the stairs, Lola cooing with delight as Uncle Craig tossed her in the air and then into the waiting arms of her cousin Rachel.
And then Grandpa said to Craig, “I guess it’s time.” Craig replied, “Yes, it’s time.” To try and prevent my own tears I piped up, “I shall say ‘Until Next Time’, not Goodbye. I don’t like to say Goodbye.” Hugs all around, tight each for Craig, Caleb, Hannah, Rachel and even tighter still from me to Kerry, my kindred-heart. Then outside into the cool air and sunshine to pray as a family before we separated. Craig’s beautiful prayer sent the words clearly into the still air, thanking God for how He has blessed us with time together, healings and thanking Him in advance for travel ease and mercies with the various drives and flights. Our hearts beat as one in those moments, full of gratitude to God for making us family and loving us, individually and together.
We watch Heather back out of the driveway as we wave them away, returning Lily’s many hand waves and blow-kisses. Only the precious South African family remains, and we can’t help ourselves, another round of hugs, even two or three more because we know it will be years before we see each other in person again. Reality hits us hard. Even as blessed as we are and have been, this is not easy. It’s difficult. Painful. Sad. Bittersweet, because we all have lives to return to. We speak of skyping and texting and that helps a teeny bit. We joke that they cannot all fit in the car with their luggage but they do. Grandpa tries to squeeze in at the last minute, knowing he can’t go with them. They too back out of the driveway, and this time we all wave – their hands out of the windows and ours high into the air above us – until we can no longer see them.
Grandpa and I silently walk back into the house. I remark that it is a good thing we have work to distract us, then tentatively suggest we might want to look at pictures of our time together tonight. He says out loud what we are both feeling. “No, I think I’ll just watch a movie; I can’t look at the pictures yet.” I know exactly how he feels; as soon as the words were out of my mouth I knew that my heart would be too heavy for yet a few days to be able to bear seeing the pictures of all our fun and adventures and ordinary time. Because pictures and memories are all we have for the time being. In time, they will be enough because they’ll have to be. In the coming days and weeks I’ll blog about each of our wonderful experiences together and I’ll remember all the pockets of love, laughter, and life lived out. We will pray for each other, talk on the phone and visit via Skype and text via What’s App. But for now we each are sad, quietly, privately, in our own way. Until Next Time.
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